Mission Impossible Screenplay

Here is a screenplay that I am going to send to Hollywood. It is based on the Mission Impossible movies. The plot opens as our star puts the tape into the recorder and the tape starts droning --

"Your mission, Mr. Phelps, is to bring the whole of the Americas under the control of multinational corporations and US ideals."

"You will infiltrate every organization in the world and bring them to our command."

"You, as a full agent of the World Bank and International Monetary Fund, shall change all of the rules of these organizations. You will encourage developing countries to borrow money for dubious mega-projects. You will then devalue their currency and raise interest rates so they can't pay back the loans. You will then give them AID in the form of more loans, called Structural Adjustment Loans, which they will qualify for only if they practice fiscal prudence, i.e. dismantle all social programs and any "measures" which are contrary to capitalistic ideology -- measures like health care, public education, regional and national economic subsidies, national banks, import substitution policies, nationalized corporations, energy policies, environmental regulations, labour unions etc. - I'm sure you understand the reasoning, Mr. Phelps."

"You will negotiate treaties and pacts in all countries that cause them to sign away their God-given rights to plants, seeds and animal life and hand these rights over to the multinational pharmaceutical companies."

"You will replace the judicial arms of all countries with trade-dispute tribunals. You will eliminate any avenues of indemnification by the citizens of such countries."

"You will destroy the family farm and replace the concept of domestic/local production with factory farms serving multinational interests, and open all markets to our unrestricted exploitation and commodity dumping."

"You will allow no country to implement any laws or policies that might restrict the activities of our corporations - whether it be environmental, labour, cultural, monetary, social, regulatory, subsidy, etc. - however, there must be no one who can hinder the US from making any law or changing any existing law as we see fit and proper."

"You must make all countries comply with the patent laws of the United States, who can, and will, change their laws to the whims of the major corporate lobby groups."

"You will dispense with democracy and replace it with consensus rulings of our most powerful and influential corporate members."

"You must make the majority of the population take great pride in the likes of the top three Americans, who now possess as much wealth as 600 million people in 48 underdeveloped countries, and all such wealth shall be deemed as success worthy of worship."

"You will make the governments of all countries open to law suits from corporations for any perceived loss of future income because of any action perceived to be against the interests of any and all corporations."

"You shall institute a climate of financial instability so that the value of all currencies shall diminish in relationship to the US Dollar. No one shall predict the value of his currency from one day to the next."

"You shall implement these edicts in spite of any public resistance. You shall label acritics as alarmists, fools and Chicken Littles."

"You shall turn the media into a tool useful to promote our cause and to misrepresent opposition to our will and determination. You shall not allow opposition to crystallize."

"This mission, should you choose to accept it, must be implemented before the people of the planet can unscramble the rhetoric."

"This message will self-destruct in 5 seconds. Have a nice day."

Puff -- The tape goes up in a wisp of smoke at this point.

Our hero, casually opens his pack of Marlboros, lights up (looking real cool), moves his Coke can into view of the camera and sits it on top of the Dunkin Donut box and says, "Piece of cake, we've done most of the work already."

Have a nice day.